BED is kind of ugly.
It’s even uglier when you don’t know what it is at the time.
Have you ever had a nightmare that isn’t totally definable, and is only reconizable by the overwhelming terror you feel when you wake up? That’s exactly what BED is like. Not knowing what it is, not knowing the symptoms. It isn’t like anorexia nervosa, it’s not like bulimia nervosa. You don’t know exactly what it is until it eats away at you. Not to make anorexia or bulimia sound like they’re nothing, they’re very serious. I’ve been afflicted by both. But BED is totally unreconizable.
It starts out with you, alone, in a kitchen. Whatever brought you there, your boyfriend dumped you, your parents don’t spend time with you, your friends are ignoring you, no matter what the reason, you have found yourself in the kitchen.
And you just start to eat.
The rest of you know how this goes, finishing the entire bucket of candy the day after halloween, finishing an entire 1-2 gallons of ice cream in an hour, devouring half a loaf of bread, a cup of mayo, etc etc etc all within a short span of time. For a moment, you have an out of body experience, in which you can see yourself in a trance, taking food out of a container, putting it in your mouth, over and over again. You want to tell yourself to stop, but you can’t.
I could go on and on, but a lot of you have been there, or you wouldn’t have asked me for my thoughts on this. So, fine, you binge eat. What are you going to do from this point on? When are you going to take control?
Here are my thoughts on how to recover:
1. When you eat, take your food to a mirror. See if you eat after that. Forcing yourself to consciously choose what you put into your mouth will really make you reconsider your actions.
2. Drink lots of water. Keeping yourself full with water will stave off the need to eat when you’re neither hungry nor full.
3. Fill your time. Start finding things that interest you and make you excited about life. Find a hobby. I love reading and now I love doing outdoorsy, physical things. Yoga and hiking are my favorites. Get off the couch, get away from the TV and the kitchen, go outside, go to the library, hang out with friends. Get away from food.
4. Keep lots of fresh fruit out where you can see it. Keep it by an area in the kitchen so that it’s always visible and it’ll be the first thing you reach for. If you can, talk to your parents, and see if they’ll let you keep any healthy food you make in the front of the fridge. My parents have been really nice enough to give me a side of the fridge, and a shelf in the freezer. It really helps.
5. Have things prepared ahead of time. If you know you need to have a nut butter or something ready for the next day, leave out fresh nuts and soak them with double the amount of water, and leave it overnight. This is called activating the nuts, making them easier to blend and consume the next day. You can do the same with raw beans, that’s known as sprouting, and it takes a little longer. Have fresh carrots ready for hummus, and the like. So on and so on.
6. Change the way you view food. Food is not an activity to take part in. It is not something to indulge in. Sure, food is delicious and food is wonderful. I love eating. But I don’t love making myself unhappy or sick after eating it. Learn to eat to live, not to live to eat. I cannot stress this enough.
7. Start keeping a journal. Everytime you’re feeling upset and you feel like you’re going to start emotionally eating, just take out your journal (I suggest a mini one to carry around or to hide easily) and write down how you feel in this moment and why you’re feeling empty, and why you’re feeling the need to binge.
There’s lots of other useful things you can do, but these are a few things that have helped me a lot. I wish you all the absolute best in recovery. I know it’s extremely hard and lonesome, and there’s not really anyone to talk to or turn to. You’re always free to talk to me on here. I will always respond. I hope to create a safe, meaningful, positive platform for all of you.
You’re all loved, by someone, somewhere, and at least by me.
please reblog; so many can benefit from seeing this. don’t let anyone else hurt themselves.